Monday, January 18, 2010

Don't worry, he says...

How do you not worry? Joe just had 7 liters drained off his abdomen Friday. He's as full tonight as he was when he went in Friday morning. He had me look up acites... I'm not liking what I saw. Of course... if the new chemo works.

All of this... I lost it today. Completely. Raged against God. Raged against Satan. God won. I think I'm back in focus again. I can't be completely joyful... and I can't completely give thanks for this cancer... but I'm determined to work on how I'm looking at things... how I react. It's not going to be easy, but I have to keep reminding myself that I am not in this alone... no matter how much it feels like it at times. My friends are few and far between, but there are there. Mostly, the best friend anyone can as for is at my side always... God. He will never leave me nor forsake me. I can't ask for more. (*"*)

1 comment:

JulyG319 said...

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry for all you are going through! I wish I could hug you and help ease some of your pain (and Joe's too)! I actually think it is a good thing that you lost it, as you can't always keep it bottled up and have a smile on your face, no one can. We all need to let the steam off every once in a while.
So here's your hug *mmmmmmmmm* and here's hoping that you and Joe get a break soon!